Character-Building

"Let every man take heed how he builds."

   "The most precious earthly treasure a girl can have is good character. Her character is what she really is. If she will look beyond what she appears to be, and what people think of her, and look at her heart fairly and honestly, judging herself by the standards of right and wrong to which her own conscience gives approval, then she can know whether she has a good character. When a girl is misunderstood and misjudged, it is comforting to know that deep in her heart she has been true; but it will rob even her friends' approval if in her heart she knows she has been untrue.

   Character is not given to us; we build it ourselves. Others may furnish the material, may set before us the right standards and ideals, may give us reproof and correction, may guide our actions and mold our thoughts. But we build our own character. It is we who absorb the good influence about us, adopt the ideals, reach for the standards, and make ourselves what we are.

   Youth is the building time. From infancy, throughout childhood, material has been brought together that we may use in our building. There are home influences and teachings, intellectual instructions received in school, religious precepts moral standards of our childhood playmates, the characters of the men and women we know, and countless other avenues by which instruction has come to us.  The girl who has been reared in a Christian home and by careful, watchful parents has a far better opportunity to build good character than she whose life has been less guarded. It is in the days of youth that this assembled material is built into character. The nature is then pliable and habits are more easily formed and much more easily broken than in later years.

   Truth or falsehood, honesty or deceit, love or hatred, honor or reproach, obedience or rebellion, good or bad, day by day the building is going on. Through her infancy and childhood her parents have been responsible for her conduct; but now, when she has reached these important years, their responsibility is lessening and hers is increasing. Sometimes girls who have been quite submissive and obedient through childhood become independent and rebellious at this period, building into their characters a lifelong regret. But contrariwise, others who have been unruly as children now wake to their responsibility and begin laying into their building those that are good, upright, honest, and noble. But more often she who has learned to obey in her childhood builds the better character.

   Character-building is a serious undertaking. You would never guess it by watching the foolish behavior of some girls. Sometimes I have wondered why youth should be given the responsibility of laying the foundation of life's character just when the heart is most merry and the thoughts least settled; but if the responsibility came later it would be at a time when the help of parents and teachers is not to be had. The builder would then have to work alone, while now she has many helpers. Since youth is given such a serious undertaking, shouldn't one take earnest thought of what she is doing, that no wrong material is placed in her building? Can she afford, for the sake of present fun and frolic, to place in her character that which will weaken her all through life?

   Character-building goes on every day, for good or bad, each sees another stone hewn straight and true, or misshapen and crooked. If temptations are resisted and obstacles overcome, evil thoughts and feelings quenched, and kind and noble thoughts encouraged in their place, then a stone has been hewn for victory and right; but if temptations have been yielded to, and evil thoughts and feelings have been harbored and cultivated, if wrong motives have been allowed, then the stone is unfit for a good building. The choices you make now build the character that shall be yours through life.

   A patter is needed. No dressmaker would undertake a garment without some idea of how it should look when finished. She must by some means form her mind the picture of the dress as it is to be when it is done. Nor would she undertake a lady's coat by a kimono pattern. She would ask for a perfect pattern with which to work. A carpenter would not start a building until he first had a draft in mind of how the finished architecture should look. More than that, he would ask for a perfect pattern of every part of the building, so that he might have it entirely correct. 

   Likewise, no character is built right and true if the builder has not in her mind a picture of the woman she wants to be. And the pattern for good character must be chosen carefully. The carpenter will not undertake a pretty cottage from the print of a barn, nor can a girl build a right, true character if she patterns after those whose lives are not right and true.

   She who has an ideal character is first of all pure and true, then earnest and sincere, patient and gentle, and more ready to serve than to be served. It is easier to build bad than good character. One can always go downhill with less difficulty than up, and glide with the current than row against it, and it is easier to drift with the crowd than to stand for the right. Bad character grows without effort. Just to be careless and indifferent to consequence may be the cause of downfall in one who would like to be noble. They who fall have been weak, for good character is strong.

   Choose well as the days go by. Build for all time, not just for present pleasure. What you are building will bring you praise and satisfaction all your life, or it will be your curse and disgrace. Keep your measuring rod at hand and use it without stint. Reject all that falls short, no matter how pleasant it may look. "Is it right?" "Would it be for my good?" "Is it glorifying to God?" are questions which you should be continually asking yourself as you decide what to do and what to leave undone. Many things that are fun end in wrong, much that seems pleasurable after a while comes to be evil, and everything like this should be rejected without hesitation. To do right will often mean a struggle, but it is always worth the effort. We dare not allow ourselves to be continually guided by what others do.

   Christ is our Perfect Pattern, and only those who form their lives after Him are building the best character. He is the one great Pattern for us, His children." -Beautiful Girlhood, chapter 4.